Ecclesiastes 7:1 “A good name is better than precious
ointment, and the day of death than the day of birth.” My
wife of 44 years went to be with her Savior at 1 pm on June
15Th, 2021.
The night before I had gotten her ready for the bed in our
living room. She needed the special hospice bed to have her
head raised significantly since she was on a feeding tube.
Her strength as well as nutrition had been in a slow decline
for weeks. In the process of removing ovarian cancer in her
abdomen the lower portion of her stomach and pyloric valve
were also removed. She was unable to eat enough and even
had no hunger. Eventually, she was put on a feeding tube,
but even with a feeding tube she could not get the
nourishment she needed. So that night, the 14Th, it took
all the strength I could muster to clean her up, move her
from bathroom to bedroom and dress her for bed since she
hardly could stand let alone walk anymore.
I had set up a camping mattress and sleeping bag in our
living room next to her bed. I told her to wake me if or
when she needed anything. I woke my couple of times to use
the bathroom; that old-age-male prostate thing. She was
always sleeping when I was up. I recall I got my best sleep
in the early morning. I woke with sunlight coming in
through the windows. Since she had been awake for a while
our eyes met. The next thing I heard were these words “I
hate to tell you this, but cleanup on aisle 9 needed”. For
a second or two we shared and cherished the moment with
smiles. After I reprimanded her for not waking me when she
needed help she replied “you were sleeping so soundly I
didn’t want to wake you”. Even on her last day she put
other’s comfort ahead of her own need. The next few hours
were spent doing my best at getting her cleaned up and
dressed. I recall embracing her afterward both to catch my
breath and strength as well as to enjoy her next to me once
more. Then I fixed breakfast, and gave her her meds through
the feeding tube. I was very thankful the home hospice
nurse was coming that morning to give her a bath.
My son, T.J. and his family came as well as Johnnie’s Mom.
We visited as well as possible and began to fix lunch. I
gave Johnnie her midday meds which were mostly for her joint
pain since she continued to say there was no pain from the
cancer itself. I recall telling her her face was
beautifully radiant. She had prominently displayed in our
bedroom a Valentine card I gave her a few years back with a
Scripture from Song of Solomon 2:14 “… let me see your
face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and
your face is lovely.” Her breathing had gotten more raspy
and I asked if she needed to sit up higher in the bed or if
I needed to adjust the feeding tube. She didn’t speak but
just moved her head side to side. I sat down in our dining
room to eat. Her Mom continued to talk every once in a
while with her daughter. Then, at 1pm, her Mom turned to us
at the table and said “I don’t think her chest is moving.
She may not be breathing.”
I didn’t get to live the rest of my life with her, but she
did live the rest of her life with me. She was free of
cancer and her spirit was in the presence of her Creator.
Ecclesiastes 12:7 “and the dust returns to the earth as it
was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.”